The Entertainer
by Shina Haruno
Summary: A girl who never really felt the feeling of exceptance was not expecting that someone from her past was to come back in her life in this way. Let alone the guy that only wanted to know her because he was only interested in her best friend. But now, it's changed. OCxUsui. From an rp in Tumblr. Half of the credit and the image credit is to takumixusui!


_**Disclaimer:** Naruto and Maid-Sama do not belong to me! The songs here aren't mine either! Half the credit of the plot and story to takumixusui. (tumblr rper!) Enjoy our little rp~_

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**_Summary: _**_A girl who never really felt the feeling of exceptance was not expecting that someone from her past was to come back in her life in this way. Let alone the guy that only wanted to know her because he was only interested in her best friend. But now, it's changed. OCxUsui. From an rp in Tumblr. Half of the credit is to takumixusui!_

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**The Entertainer**

**Shina's POV**

Today was a very normal day for Shina. School was still a bother for her and so were the various practices for her upcoming performances, and of course, her lack of intelligence. She walked out of the train station with her guitar case that hid her guitar safely inside. She was about to walk up the stairs to get out of the subway, but a person asked her if she could play a bit. Shina never backs down an opportunity to play any of her instruments, so she smiled and said she would happily play. She got out her guitar and started playing.

**kimi ga "daisuki da yo" tte itsumo mujaki na koe de warau kara**

**boku no wa ga mamana tokei wa hora, ugokihajimeru**

**kowareta omocha narabe jibun no risou no shiro tsukutte**

**daremo ga motomeru shiawase ni kokoro ubawareteita**

Sliding her fingers from chord to chord, feeling the song and truly singing it from the heart, her voice angelically sang every word and looking at the audience with true expressions on her face.

**"daijoubu" to kagi wo kakete kakushiteta**

**takusan no kotobatachi saa tokihanattemiyou**

Her expression suddenly turned to anger as the words started meaning anger. She really could act perfectly. No one would've seen past her acting. She is an actress after all.

**kimi no tsumugu monogatari boku ni oshiete yo**

**sore wa, dono hoshi yori utsukushiku hikaru**

**tatoe ima* ga kako ni nurikaerareta toshitemo**

**ano hi kara tsuzuku yume no motto saki e**

**mayowazu shirisu yo boku dake no SCENARIO**

She never fails to impress anyone with her performances. She'd always seemed so confident. She ended her melodious singing, and noticed that people were surrounding her, clapping and obviously enjoyed her mini performance. She usually spaced out and went to her own little fantasy land whenever she'd perform, and she really loved it when people actually enjoy her music. It made her feel more special instead of being called the 'pretty and stupid girl'. Performing was her only escape. She never said it out loud, but she would usually get hurt after someone decides to be harsh to her. She never shares her pain. She only keeps it… to herself.

The audience asked her if she could play more and she happily obliged. Just when she was about to play, she saw a familiar face in the crowd. She didn't want to disappoint the crowd, but she didn't feel like talking to anyone she knew in the moment, so she put her guitar back in it's case and ran out of the subway. Little did she know, that familiar face was following her.

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**Usui's POV**

Usui felt his body move on its own accord - towards her. His emerald, green eyes watched her. Soaking in everything that was related to her - her hair, her eyes, her clothes. Everything. He didn't know when or how the attraction came about. But, he always had the tendency to observe her from afar - ever since that day.

She was sitting on the platform opposite from his. Her head was bowed, eyes downcast, avoiding any means of interacting with other people. His eyes flickered to the guitar case that was leaning against the bench that she was occupying. What type does she play?, he wondered and chided himself. When had he become so concerned of such trivial things? He quickly shrugged off the thought, dismissing the girl from his mind. But, it started to become harder for him to ignore, since she was always there, day after day. Always occupying the same seat. Always insecure. And he was always watching. He was curious. He wanted to ask her what type of songs does she play. He wanted to ask her if she was okay. He just wanted to know her. But, she probably doesn't even know of his existence. So, he decided to admire her from a distance, where his affections for her would be safe in his heart and where rejection would never reach him. It had started to become a routine. The brief encounter always ended, when her train arrived and his came a moment later. And their trains headed towards opposite directions…

But, today was different. She was different. Somehow, she had managed to pull herself out of the darkness. And, there she was, performing in front of a crowd. Eyes closed, as her fingers strummed against the strings of the guitar. Her angelic voice danced around in the air, pulling him towards her. But, the crowd prevented him from going any further. That's okay, he thought and smiled to himself. He was glad that she had finally opened up - that her true self was emerging to the surface. He saw a glimpse of her face through the sea of people. She was in a peaceful trance, controlled by the soft melody of her song. To him, she was like a drop of water. Fragile, yet strong. Ordinary, yet beautiful. The crowd chanted for more, but at that moment her eyes spotted him. She quickly grabbed her things and made a hasty leave. Could it be that she's avoiding him? No. It can't be. They don't even know each other. Then, why? Why, that look? He ran after her desperately, seeking for answers. As soon as he caught up, he grabbed her by the elbow and turned her around. Except, he couldn't say anything, but stare into her eyes.

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**Shina's POV**

Running away, she thought about what has happened. She never wanted anyone to find out. Find out about her pain. She though that it would just bother them. At times like this, Shina always ran away. Whenever a sign of confrontation, and humiliation came her way, she never faces it head on. She just couldn't take the pressure. Stopping at an interjection, she looked back while she panted and looked to see if he was still following her. She saw him run closer, and the stop light immediately turned red. She ran as quick as she could across the street and went towards her favorite music shop. She thought about what had happened in the subway. When she saw his face amongst the crowd of people. It felt as if his presence never left her.

_[The day she just came back from buying a brand new guitar in Music Alley, she sat down on that bench she always sat on whenever she was waiting for her train to arrive. With her brand new guitar in it's case carefully laid beside her, she took a sip of the drink she bought as well. Looking around, she noticed a flash of golden locks and immediately thought that those golden locks looked familiar. She shook the thought off her mind and sat there, patiently waiting for her train.]_

Ever since then, she felt the same presence looking over her. Like it was her own shadow. Still running she took a quick left, put her guitar case down gently, and leaned on the wall to her right, panting for air. 'Why was he following me?' She thought while she wiped off a drop of sweat from her forehead. 'I better get there quickly.' Just then, she heard a fast paced sound of footsteps. She quickly shot up, got her guitar case and tried to leave, but he was already there, and he caught her by the elbow, spun her around, and stared at her causing her guitar case to fall. It was a hard case, so her guitar would be fine, but she always took extra precautions.

Looking back at his eyes, biting her lower lip, a billion thoughts went on her mind. She didn't know how to react to this. She looked away, escaping his gaze. "Why are you following me?" She finally spoke. "Here to mock me again? Or are you here to call me a fish again?" She said harshly. This was something she didn't want to do nor was she prepared for it…

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**Usui's POV**

His eyes searched her pale face for any signs of emotions that could assist him in understanding her sudden behaviour. All he saw was the pain, that reflected from her red, amber eyes. His stomach quenched. Why do I feel not at ease? He didn't understand. Had he wronged her? The sound of her voice broke him away from his thoughts. Still, he couldn't find the right words. So, he remained silent as he listened to her.

It all came rushing back to him. The word 'fish' triggered the memory that was buried deep in the recess of his mind. It appeared that he knew the girl, but as expected from him, he had forgotten of their little encounter. "Shina…," he uttered. He was completely speechless - stunned even, that the girl he'd been observing was the very same girl that he had hurt. He had injured her pride by his cold words. Though, they only shared a moment and though the words were brief, it was enough to drag her down to a dark pitch of suffering. He had regretted his actions, but had never bothered to apologise. He thought she was strong enough to cast his cruel words aside and move on. Now, he knew that, she hadn't. It had become a heavy burden for her. So heavy that she had lost the liveliness and confidence, that she had once greeted him with. It was probably the reason why she was the way she was, now. Guilt coursed through him, leaving him paralysed. "Shina…," he attempted again. "I'm sorry…," he looked away from her, afraid that she could see through his mask - see the guilt. "I didn't mean to hurt you."

It was true. That was the least he wanted to do. He wished that he could turn back time so that he didn't have to witness her like this. Even if it meant not seeing her again. If he hadn't stepped into her life, her heart wouldn't be shattered like so. His mere existence was the main cause. He brought pain where ever he went. He was like a living curse.

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**Shina's POV**

Shina was never ready to confront, but she knew that it was time she had to. She had no choice. She was searching her mind for things to say. Then, she caught a glimpse of his emerald green eyes looking at her pale face. _'Is he trying to read me?'_ She thought. She noticed that she was showing it… She was showing pain through her face, movement, words, and that made her eyes widen. She didn't notice she was, but it was already obvious that she had been suffering. The taunts, the nicknames, they stayed with her, never having a slight feel of acceptance in her life from people other than her sister and her best friend. Everything that resided in her mind was loneliness, fear, and suffering.

In school it was far worse. Due to her talent in the performing arts, she got a scholarship to True Cross Academy to help the school better themselves in that particular department, but everyone always made fun of her behind her back. Saying that she's stupid, or that she shouldn't be in this school let alone the world. After hearing those, she felt locked… Locked in her own mind and body. She never showed pain over it. She kept it well-hidden deep inside her, not wanting a single soul to see it. Then, Usui came. He was there right in front of her.

He saw through everything. Shina never knew him so well, but she did meet him once. He called her a goldfish. She was getting used to the teasing, and she ignored it at first, but after that, depression built inside her. The people she knew… The people she thought she trusted… Most of them only wanted to befriend her to get dirt on her, or befriend her to get in contact with Reira, Adam, Sakura or Link. She stopped trusting anyone else. She felt as if they'd just betray her again. Then, she heard his voice. His voice was reaching out to her. He was apologizing… No one ever apologized for anything they did to her. Her eyes widen a bit more, clearly stunned by his actions. As an actress, she can read through blank expressions, and she saw it. She saw guilt. She felt her head hurt a bit, trying to analyze this all quickly. Before she knew it, she started speaking.

"Usui," She started. "I know you think this was all your fault, but it's not. You're not the only one who enjoys making fun of me. Everybody enjoys it, and it pains me!" She said, not wanting to admit it to a guy she met only once, but she had the feeling that something was pushing her to do it. It was as if she wanted to. A tear started rolling down her cheeks, showing that her walls broke down. "Everyone only thinks of me as the idiot hot girl and forgets that I'm an entertainer! No one seems to care about what I feel anymore. I used to ignore all of these painful words, but they became too much for me to handle. I just… Don't want to endure anymore. No one trusts me to do anything, only a few are my true friends, and now… I don't trust anyone. It became harder for me to do that since most of the people I befriended only wanted to get close to me to get some dirt." She looked straight at Usui, tears still falling. "Do you know how that feels like?! It feels like I'm being treated like a piece of shit!" She admitted. Every single play she's been on, every single song she wrote, every single dance she learned or choreographed… All of them were to reflect her emotions. Performing really is her only escape from the world.

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**Usui's POV**

When he first met her, he had wondered if there was something darker beneath that happy face. It now became clear that, there was. Before, she had always smiled and laughed even when everyone else was giving her a hard time. And that was enough to convince him, that she was strong. It took strength to ignore the taunts, the criticism and the hatred that rolled off their tongues. But what he didn't know then, was that it was slowly eating her up inside. If he had known, he wouldn't have barged into her life like that…

Every ounce of her emotions and thoughts started pouring out - all for him to see. Relief washed over him as he heard the words of forgiveness. He felt a jolt of joy, as she had opened up to him - to a person who she barely even knew. But, at the same time he didn't feel that he deserved her trust. Since, he too was amongst those perpetrators. To be honest he didn't intend for any of that to happen. But, somehow that day he felt the urge to mingle with the crowd and be a part of the rowdiness. Hence, why he said those harsh words. She was the first that he tried to converse with in a long time - ever since he parted ways with Misaki. The separation from Misaki was inevitable and it left a hollow hole in his heart. He thought he was beyond the point of recovery. But it didn't matter to him, since he had always embraced the pain, the sorrow and the darkness. They brought him comfort. But, it was Shina that had paved a path, guiding him away from the lugubrious life.

The wind whipped past, making her hair float around in the air. Her eyes were now filled with tears. She looked so fragile, so vulnerable, that it made him want to protect her even more. He couldn't identify what kind of feelings he had for her. Was it love? Or empathy? He didn't know. But he knew that she wasn't a replacement for Misaki. No one could ever replace Ayuzawa. Though, that didn't mean that this girl couldn't be a part of his life. He smiled. His hand gently patted her on the head and slid down her face to wipe the tears away. "Shush… It's okay," he murmured. "Not everyone thinks of you like that, Shina." He gave her a meaningful look. "To me, neither your appearance nor your intelligence matters to me. Because in my eyes, you are extraordinary. No one can pull off a happy face, while being stepped on." His hands were now caressing her face and he looked directly in her amber eyes. "Be confident. Be strong. From your lil' performance earlier, I know you've got it in you. And the crowd loved you. You looked so peaceful when you played - so beautiful," he closed his eyes as the memory rushed into his mind, then opened them again to gaze at her. "You are very admirable, Miss Haruno. And you shouldn't forget that," he said softly. And he meant what he said for he knew by observing her everyday, just what kind of person she was and he wanted her to get back on her feet again. It was an exchange for sparking an interest in him.

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**Shina's POV**

Her emotions poured out and she'd shared everything she had felt for so long. She never knew she could be this open, especially with this man. He was one of those who taunted her, but right there, right now, she felt as if he was different. She poured her heart out in each word she put out. Her feelings were hurt, and he knew that. He knew that… The wind started blowing, and her hair flowed with the breeze, showing her tearful eyes. It was the first time she showed her vulnerability, the first time she confessed her pain. It felt unusually good to finally let it out. It was like huge weight was lifted off of her shoulders.

Then, he spoke. His words comforting her, trying to calm her down. She wasn't expecting it. As he caressed her face, she felt heat rising on her cheeks. He complimented her, reassured her, made her feel special. She felt happiness once again. His words made her feel one with everyone again. She looked at his face looking back at her eyes. He isn't lying… She thought. He wiped a tear off her face, telling her it was alright. She never knew he would come off like this. He was supportive. A small smile finally appeared on her face after a long period of sadness and fear. He brought her back.

Her days of pain slowly leaving her memories. She was trying pushing them aside. She wanted to clear her mind. Everything that hurt her, everyone that teased her, every memory that pained her, she was trying to forget. None of that anymore. She wanted to feel secure and safe again. She hoped Usui would somehow help her out. She was thinking of him differently now. She thought he was a jerk at first, but now, she thinks of him as someone who is actually helping her. Helping her go through a situation like this. And because of that, she was grateful.

"You really think so?" She finally spoke back. "Because all this time, I thought you were like them. But now, I think you aren't." She looked down at her feet. "You, of all people, are actually reassuring me. This really did catch me by surprise. Thank you… Usui." A real smile appeared on her face. No lies, no walls, no acting, she was slowly healing. "Really… Thank you."

Her expression suddenly changed entirely. All thanks to him. She never knew it would turn out like this. It still stunned her. She looked over to her guitar case on her right, and walked over it. Picking it up, she looked at Usui. "Would you maybe want to walk around?"

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**Usui's POV**

"You needn't thank me, since I was the one who wronged you. But yes, they were honest words. I don't usually express my feelings to others, so you should be grateful that I said anything at all," he chuckled. "And trust me, it wasn't easy to admit all of that." His eyebrows furrowed. "But, I didn't regret it. I'm glad that I was able to rid that heavy burden." He let out a heavy sigh. "It's been long, since I've felt this way." He stared out in space. "Since, I've parted ways with Mi- my close friend," he murmured.

And he clicked back to reality, when Shina invited him to accompany her. He smiled at the friendly gesture, but hesitated before accepting. "Here, let me take that," he offered as he walked towards her to grab the guitar case. He slung the case on his back and an idea came to his mind. "Can I borrow this for a moment," he gestured to the guitar. Before she could reply, he took off - heading towards a small platform that was a few metres away. He beckoned her to come forth. This was the first time that he had done this in public and for someone, too. Shina, you really are a mystery. Always making me do things, that I don't want to do. Yet, here I am. Doing all of this for you. He pulled the strap over his head and placed the guitar in a comfortable position. He felt a numbing sensation crawl under his skin. He was nervous, which was never an issue for him. Just what are you doing to me? His lips curled back into a smile. She approached him with a puzzled look pasted on her face. She was about to utter a word, but he silenced her as his fingers strum against the strings of the guitar. He let the music take its own course. He let his feelings flow out towards her. And started to sing.

**I don't mind spending everyday**

**Out in the corner in the pouring rain**

**Look for the girl with the broken smile**

**Ask her if she wants to stay awhile**

**And she will be loved**

**She will be loved**

**Tap on my window knock on my door**

**I want to make you feel beautiful**

**I know you tend to get so insecure**

**It doesn't matter anymore**

**It's not always rainbows and butterflies**

**It's compromise that moves us along, yeah**

**My heart is full and my door's always open**

**You can come anytime you want**

**I don't mind spending everyday**

**Out in the corner in the pouring rain**

**Look for the girl with the broken smile**

**Ask her if she wants to stay awhile**

**And she will be loved**

**And she will be loved**

**And she will be loved**

**And she will be loved…**

His voice was of a seraphic sound and it floated around in the air. It drew people towards him. They were completely mesmerised by the sound and his exterior form. But, his eyes were only fixated on her. The girl with the green, emerald eyes. This moment was especially for her and only her. The others didn't matter - only her.

In a way they were each other's support. They kept holding onto that fine thin thread, hoping that they would be able to obtain an answer or something that could reassure them that there was someone out there who knew they existed. And he hoped that she was the key.

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**Shina's POV**

His reply to her, the way he said it made her feel anew. Somehow, she felt that it didn't matter what he had done before. It was all because of this man, she wanted to trust again. She didn't bother to build her walls again because they would just break down eventually, and she wanted to feel happiness in her life once more. It wasn't 'till he came that she realized that. She noticed him stutter a little in his sentence._ 'Mi-?'_ She pondered. _'I wonder who that is…'_

Walking over to her and grabbing her guitar case, she stood there, puzzled. Before she could answer his question, he was already up there on the nearby platform performing. She walked closer, hands together right above her chest, listening to his voice. Just another one of his surprises. He's definitely a man of a million tricks. People started coming over, watching him as he performed. 'Looks like I could learn a few things from you, Usui.' She thought, smiling and listening to his voice, watching him up there. She never knew he could sing as well. She noticed that he wasn't looking at anyone… Anyone but her. She felt heat rising on her pale cheeks. 'Why is he looking at me like that? What is this feeling?' Her heart beating fast, not knowing what is happening to her. His gaze… His gaze focusing on her only. She looked back at him, staring back at his emerald green eyes, and smiled brightly.

She wanted to know what this feeling was. The feeling that made her nervous, cautious, and made her heart beat fast. She wasn't aware that things like these would come so quickly. She tried fighting it… and lost. What was he doing to her? Why was she denying it?

After his song ended, she walked up the platform and smiled. "You were great. I wasn't aware that you could play and sing." She said to him while she tucked in a few strands of hair back behind her right ear. "And it was a great song too." She wanted to know quickly what was going on with her. She was so confused at the moment. But with him, she forgets that she was ever alone… She wondered if what she was feeling was true…

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**Usui's POV**

The crowd applauded and dispersed as he stepped off the stage. His hands clenched into a fist as he saw her approaching him. He felt his chest tighten. Anger was simmering inside of him, thrashing and flailing around, wanting to be released. And pain was chaining him down, almost making him paralysed. Why?, he thought. No, he mustn't let her see it. He pushed the fury back to its cage and the rage vanished in a flicker of a second. He pasted on a wry grin. "I know a thing or two about guitars and singing," he replied and shrugged. "But, obviously not an expert like you." He winked at her. "I just thought I'd do something for you for the last time." And once again he felt the agony quicken around his heart. Stop it. Stop torturing me like this. His expression didn't betray any of the emotions that he was battling inside. His face remained an unreadable mask, even she could not see past it.

He moved within close proximity to her. And craned his neck to let his lips brush against hers, then kissed her on the forehead. He knew her body was yearning for more, but this was all he could do. I can't do any more than this, he thought sadly. I don't want to hurt you. And I know if I go past this point then you and I will shatter into a million pieces. Right now, it's already breaking me. But, you don't even know it. Eventually, you will. "I've got a place to show you. Come," his hand intertwined with hers and he started tugging her in the direction that led them to a creek. "Hardly anyone comes here. That's why I like this place," he said as the corners of his lips rose. His eyes gave off a green glint in the dim light of the sunset. They were sitting by the bank, just soaking in the scenery. He took off his shoes and dipped his feet into the clear, running water. "You gonna join me?," he asked expectantly.

He wondered if she preferred amusement parks over the peacefulness of nature. Is she bored? He just wanted to talk to her and get to know her a little bit better, though he knew that it wouldn't do him any good. The more he stays with her, the more harder it was to pull away. It's ironic that even a guy like me could be defeated by this feeling. He turned his head to face her and his hand inadvertently reached out to touch her face. "You know… I've always been watching you…," he murmured.

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**Shina's POV**

Standing there, him in front of her, she didn't know what was going on inside her. Heart beating fast, a barely noticeable blush on both of her cheeks, she felt different. 'Pull it together, Shina!' She told herself mentally, safely hiding her conflicted feeling. Usui was there, telling her that he knew a little about singing and playing the guitar and complimented her by saying she was an expert. The blush on her cheeks reddened, now noticeable. "T-thanks." She stuttered. Then, she heard him say something about a 'last time'. 'Last time? What does he mean by that?' She thought, searching her mind for any solutions, but none arrived. Was there something wrong with him? Or was he just joking around? These two questions stayed in her mind.

Suddenly, he moved closer to her, faces inches apart. "W-what are you-?" She was able to stutter out. Her heart was beating even faster now, not knowing what to expect. Her body ached for him to come closer, Shina not knowing it was obvious. His lips lightly brushed against hers making her shiver a little. Instead of her lips, he kissed her forehead, making her eyes slightly widen. She was a little disappointed, but nonetheless, her face was still as red as a tomato. 'W-what was he about to do…?' She stood there, mind-boggled. He spoke, breaking the short silence between them. He told her he'd show her a place he usually went to. She smiled hearing this and followed him.

He held her hand, leading her to a creek. The water glistening, the grass lushly green, and the sun about to set. She stood there in awe. "This place is beautiful." She said, looking around the area. She loved the place. It was serene and quiet. She loved quiet places. She would go to these types of places to write songs or just to escape. Hearing him say that people hardly came to that place, she smiled at the scenery. She saw Usui already sitting by the bank, feet in the water. He asked her if she was gonna join him, and she nodded. Already beside him, she took her shoes and socks off and slowly dipped her feet in the water. Relaxing and enjoying the moment, her emotions still made her curious. 'What is this feeling? Why won't it go away?' She thought. He spoke up, telling her he was always watching her. She looked at him, wondering what she had just heard. "You do?" She asked. "W-why is that? I'm no fun to watch…" She said, looking down at the water, showing her reflection. "I'm not that special. Other than performing arts and baby sitting, I'm no good at anything else." Sighing, she closed her eyes. "You shouldn't be wasting your time on me… I'm nothing compared to anyone else." Suddenly, her heart clenched. Her insecurity overtook her.

She was always compared to others, but it wasn't entirely her fault. Her parents were alcoholics. She never felt actual love from her parents. Whenever she was curious about something, her parents would disregard her and continue drinking. That's why she was so close to her friends and Sakura. She always felt emotional distress. "My parents never cared for me. Never. I guess that's why I'm so over dramatic sometimes." She gave a scoff. "Okay, all the time. I never knew what real love felt like… Not even from my own parents. It's weird isn't it?"

* * *

**Usui's POV**

"Sure, there's nothing special about you…, which means no one will ever take you away from me," he chuckled. He will enjoy this last moment with her, even if God forbids. Why was it that everything had to be taken away from him? He closed his eyes, taking a few deep breaths and then looked at her again. "Stop condemning yourself. I've already told you what you mean to me. And that will never change. Who cares what the others think about you." He placed his hands on her shoulders and gave her an intense stare. "You are worth every penny in the world. How can you not know how amazing you are?," he murmured. As he stared into her amber eyes, he felt an invisible force pulling him towards her. The warmth of her skin started to amplify under his fingertips. He didn't realise how close they were to each other. The gap between them was so minuscule, that he could easily steal a kiss from her. It was tempting. Desire was gnawing at his heart. He wanted to consume her at this moment. His body tensed as he tried to fight the temptation. He mustn't do this to her. Do you want her to be covered in scars - scars that can never heal? Don't be a selfish bastard. This was all you're ever going to get. But, it proved to be too powerful, even for him to control. He found himself slowly leaning in towards her, closing the gap between them. He gently placed a kiss on her lips and slightly pulled away to see her reaction. When she didn't object, he slammed his lips against her, hungry for more. His hand slid around her waist, pushing her body towards him. A fiery wave of heat surged through him - urging him to proceed. Every single cell in his body became sensitive and active. With his other hand he caressed her cheek - his thumb kneading her skin. He felt lost under her touch. It made him forget everything. But,

there was still that one thought that haunted him. And it was that one thought that made him realise how reckless he was and how stupid he was. He abruptly withdrew from her and he was shaken by fear and melancholy. "I'm sorry." He loosened his grip on her and retracted his hands - afraid that he might lose control again. He didn't trust himself. He turned his face away from her prying eyes. "I shouldn't have done that. You can hit, yell, or run away from me. It's up to you." He was absolutely ashamed of himself for his lack of restraint.

* * *

**Shina's POV**

"S-steal me away from you?" She blushed. She wasn't sure of this feeling he was giving her. He comforted her, he supported her, he helped her trust again. It was a feeling she couldn't deny no longer. 'Usui, why do I feel like this when I'm with you?' She mentally said, tucking in strands of hair back behind her ear. With the blush still on her cheeks, she gave a gentle smile. "That seems to be a lot of money, ne?" She giggled, replying to his statement. "Amazing is a big word to use, Usui. Are you sure I am?" Still blushing as red as a tomato, she stared back into his emerald orbs, feeling a force wanting to push herself closer to him, but she managed to keep the need inside.

Somehow, the force got stronger, slowly but surely. Shina didn't notice how close they were. His touch was making her tremble in delight. She couldn't help it. Was this going to last? Suddenly, she felt his lips on hers. Her eyes widen for a while, but they closed later on. Her head was spinning. She felt blissful. He pulled away for a while, looking at her before he kissed her again. It was a possessive kiss. She felt his hand on her waist, and the other on her face, caressing it ever so gently. She wrapped her arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. Her body took over her, and she didn't object to it at all. His kiss was heavenly to her. She never felt that way before. Now she was sure she did truly feel that way about him, all because of a kiss.

He pulled away from the kiss, apologizing._ 'Why's he apologizing?'_ She thought, stunned. His grip on her loosened and she felt a bit unhappy because of that. His words sounded regretful. _'Does he think that he forced me?'_ Shina looked into his eyes, but he turned away making a small frown appear on her face. "Usui…" She spoke. "I'm not gonna scream at you, or run away from you." She looked at him even though he wasn't looking back. "I… Don't know what it is, but I… I feel the need to be with you. I'm sure you probably don't feel the same way, but that's how I feel. If you'd want me to leave, I'll probably just go now…" She said, standing up and about to head home, but she felt a grip on her. Her eyes widen. She didn't know what the feeling was, but she felt it. It couldn't hide anymore, for it can't be restrained.

* * *

**Usui's POV**

His eyebrows furrowed. "I-No. Don't go. I don't know what's gotten into me," he said finally. His fingers raked through his hair. This was not the time to tell her yet. Even, his mind urged him to spill all his worries and his secrets, but the urge was anchored to the ground - preventing him from doing so. He was afraid that he might lose himself to the pain. He was afraid that tears would start falling from his eyes. He was afraid that she would slip away from his grasp. Everything was becoming so hard for him to handle. He wanted to run into her arms and hide in her heart and cry his fears out. He wanted her to kiss away the sadness and the agony that were eating him alive. Fear. Anger. Sadness. Pain. Joy. They were all there - battling with each other. And the war inside his heart was a bloody torture.

He finally got the courage to look at her again. Confusion was written all over her face. How could he break her heart?, he sighed. She was strong, but how strong? Even though, he had spent days watching her, he was still unsure of her capabilities. But, he knew she was fragile like a china doll. And with just one fall, she could smash into a million pieces. Though, he had crushed many girl's heart, he could not bear to hurt her's. Her amber eyes scanned his face - searching for an explanation of his sudden change in behaviour. The facade that he built was starting to crumble, but it was not enough for her to see through him - to see all his inner demons lurking in the recess of his heart. He had to be strong, in order for her climb her way up from the bottom of the well. Even, if it meant him being dragged to the pits of agony and even if it meant not seeing her again, he will make sure that she was happy.

"How can you be so stupid?," he said softly. "Why would you want to stay with a person, like me? I will only hurt you, Shina." He saw his reflection in her eyes. His own face staring back at him. He was such a shameful bastard. The blonde hair, the green eyes, the tanned skin - everything about him disgusted him. He was such a failure. He didn't deserve her at all. A wry grin was pasted on his face - in an attempt of lightening the mood. His demeanour completely changed. "Silly. Of course, I want you here with me. You're…," he stopped in the midst of his sentence. "… You're my dear friend…," he said finally.

* * *

**Shina's POV**

Shina wondered what was going on beneath his unreadable facade. It was one she couldn't read. "I want to stay with a person like you because I thought you understood me…" She said, putting a past tense instead of present. A fake smile slowly appeared on her face, showing no signs of lies. "I'm glad we're friends." The words that came out of her mouth were partially true. What else could she want though? _'Probably someone who truly understands what I'm going through.'_ She mentally said. She didn't want to ruin the bond they already had, so she kept her feelings hidden. Hidden even though she was painfully hurting deep inside.

She was searching for answers in her head. What could happen now? Her heart and mind were filling with doubt. Will he be like the others? Or will they stay friends? She hoped it wouldn't be the first case. She wanted someone to talk to, someone to be there for her. Something inside her wanted that someone to be him. Oh, how she wished she were right to trust him because she was falling for him… Hard. What could possibly go wrong? Everything…

An awkward silence came, neither of them knowing what to say. Was this all forsaken? Neither of them knew. Shina decided to break the deafening silence between them and spoke. "So, my school's having a concert. I'll be performing, and I was wondering if you wanted to come?" She asked. "You don't have to if you don't want to, but I just wanted to ask."

* * *

**Usui's POV**

He sat next to her, lost in his own thoughts. Though, he knew he was wasting time, he couldn't help but stray from the moment. He perked up as her voice brought him back to reality. His eyebrows furrowed as he contemplated over her invitation. "Tomorrow?," he inquired of her. She nodded and added the time and place of the event.

So, it was tomorrow morning, he thought. It coincided with the time of his departure. He pinched the bridge of his nose. It was so frustrating, that he had so little time to spend with her. And at the moment, he was just throwing the opportunity away. The day was already flying away faster than he could say stop. He wanted to be there to watch her perform. But, he couldn't. He had to leave - move to another place. She will probably be disappointed of his decline. "I'd love to go, Shina. But, I've already got some plans for tomorrow morning," he pursed his lips, then smiled. "Don't be upset." His fingers were tracing a pattern on her soft, porcelain skin of her face. "Have fun. Be enraptured in your music. Make me proud, even though I'm not there to see it," he encouraged her.

The sky was almost blackening into night. "It's getting dark. We should go," he remarked. "I'll walk you home."

He grabbed onto her guitar case and they made their way out of the site. As they walked side by side, their hands brushed against each other. He took the initiative and slid his hand into hers - intertwining it. No words were said, letting the silence reign the night air. It didn't make him uncomfortable, but instead he kind of enjoyed the company of Quietness. Just walking hand in hand with her, was enough to make him happy. It was a satisfying end, he thought sadly.

* * *

**Shina's POV**

Walking with him, she felt uneasy. She wanted to know what really is going on. He looked a bit frustrated when he turned her invitation down. She decided to keep quiet and say nothing about it. As soon as they arrived to her home, they stood at her doorstep. "Thanks, Usui." She smiled at him. She wanted to say something else but decided not to. She looked up at the night sky and took a deep breath. "Thanks for helping."

She got the keys to her house from her bag and opened the door. She got her guitar case and flashed on more smile at him before getting in. Closing the door, she bit her lip. 'I better just… get ready for tomorrow…' She sighed. Her pet tiger cub ran to her and pounced on her. She gave a light giggle, carried, and smiled at her. "Oh, Kya~" She said. "Will you help me get ready?" Kya replied with a 'nya' and Shina giggled. Her head still searching for answers, but she wanted to distract herself. She had to. Now, she only needed answers…

A single tear fell on the ground, and Kya looked up at her owner. Shina told her she was fine, but was she really? She put Kya down for a moment and sat down on the couch. Head facing the ceiling, she was in a daze. 'What now?' mentally said. Kya jumped on the couch and sat on Shina's lap. Stroking Kya, Shina was still conflicted. What's next for her?

* * *

**Usui's POV**

Tomorrow morning, 10:00 a.m., he repeated to himself. Then, everything will fall back to its place. Maybe. He knew he won't be able to forget her and that would be the only difference. But with her, he wanted her to forget him. Forget everything that had happened today. Forget all that he said to her. Forget that they had ever met. If he was capable of doing a forgetful spell then he would cast it on her - to lessen her pain. The thought was cruel. Meddling with another person's memory was cruel. But, he wanted to do it. Unfortunately, it was far beyond his abilities.

He looked at her longingly as she gave him one last glance before disappearing behind the door. He chided himself for not even saying a word of goodbye to her. As he turned to leave, he grabbed a small envelope from his pocket. And slipped it into her mail box. Tilting his head, he looked up at her window. He was half expecting to see her face, but the other half was overshadowed with doubt. She wouldn't. Why would she? I've let her down. He twisted his body around and departed for home…

He slumped into his bed, with his legs and arms sprawled apart. He raised his arm and rested his hand on his eyes. It wasn't her voice that drove him towards her. He had intended to approach her all along. He knew that he was running out of time. Why hadn't he initiated the act earlier? It was because he was unaware of how he felt about her. He thought it was just a fleeting infatuation mixed with curiosity and he thought the feeling would just vanish. But, it didn't. The feeling lingered and it started to amplify as the days progress. Hence, why he confronted her today - for confirmation and to spend time with her for the first and last time. The day went by as he planned. Approach her. Stay with her. Give her the letter. Leave her.

"I'm so sorry for being selfish. I just wanted to know you," he muttered to himself. "Can't I even have that luxury?" He drifted into a deep sleep, while morning waited for him in the corner.

**_[LETTER]_**

**_To the Girl with the Light Red Hair and Green, Emerald Eyes,_**

**_I have been watching you for a long time. I'm not sure when and how that came about. But, it just happened. You shine brighter than anyone I know. Even amongst a large crowd, my eyes can only see you. When I look at you, the whole world seems to stop. There's no people. No sounds. No Time. Just you. Even, my thoughts run to you. And nothing else seemed to matter, anymore. Only you. But, when time starts to move again, I feel like I've been yanked out of a beautiful dream and plunged back into a bloody nightmare. I hate the world for spinning again - letting Time run faster. And I hate Time for pulling me apart from you. I hate it._**

**_This feeling that I couldn't comprehend before is now becoming clear to me. And it's beginning to control me - swallow me. But, because of my stupidity, I have thrown away all the opportunities to get to know you. I don't know if God pitied me or what, but He gave me one day to enjoy it with you. And then after that, I will have to leave you for good. I will be transferring to another school, which is a fair distance from here. My train departs tomorrow morning at 10:30 a.m. That is the least I can tell you. Though, what we've shared was brief, I have and will cherish every moment we had together._**

**_I know I'm selfish for appearing in front of you and disappearing as I please. But, really. I don't mean to hurt you. Please, remember that._**

**_P.S. I know you've been scarred deeply from reasons that are beyond my knowledge. But, I want you to have this picture of a Koi (I sometimes call it a goldfish). They are associated with perseverance in adversity and strength. And I want you to have that perseverance and strength._**

**_From Your Secret Admirer,_**

**_Takumi Usui_**

* * *

**Shina's POV**

The morning sun appeared, and it's rays shone inside her bedroom. As usual, the female was already awake before the sun came up. In the kitchen, she was making breakfast for her and Kya. On the counter, Kya was helping her out with the ingredients. While cooking, she was reminiscing last night. 'Just forget about it, Shina.' She sighed and prepared the meal on their plates. The food's on the table, Kya was eating, but Shina was eating quite grudgingly. She was too dazed. She finally finished her food and cleaned the dishes.

9:00 AM… Shina was ready to set off to the performance venue. Her costumes safely inside her bag, her guitar in it's case, Suzu was staying there to take care of Kya, and she was about to head out, but she had to wait 'till Reira comes and pick her up. She suddenly remembered that she had to check her mail before she leaves. She went out to get near her mail box. Opening her mail box, she got out all of the letters and went back inside. She was going through them all. 'Bill, bill, wedding invitation!' Shina inwardly squealed. She put the wedding invitation on the counter and began going through the letters again. One letter caught her eye. The envelope said nothing but open. She blinked and opened it. Suddenly, tears emerged.

Reading the letter, she finally got her answers of last night. Her eyes filled with sadness yet acceptance as well. He was leaving. 'So… that's what he meant…' She mentally said as she set the letter aside. Her hands rubbing her temples, trying to calm her down. She took a deep breath and headed to the bathroom. Washing her face and reapplying her make-up, she was ready to go. Even though she was hurting, the show must go on. Reading the letter one more time, she bit her lip and hid it. She heard a car beeping outside and, she looked out the window. Gathering all of her things, she went outside and locked her door. Sitting in the car, she faked a smile. "You ready?" Reira asked. "Yep! Let's go!" She said, the fake smile plastered on her face. As they were driving, Shina was looking out the window, back in a daze. Reira noticed and became slightly worried. "Are you alright?" Shina shot back to reality and gave her a giggle. "Yeah, I'm fine." When they arrived at the venue, Shina ran as fast as she could to her dressing room. An hour passed, no one noticed her pain. She was about to head on stage. She took a deep breath. "Back to square one…" She went on, like nothing ever happened. She performed as perfectly as she always does. But, she was uneasy… The concert ended, and Shina sat there in her dressing room, gathering her things to head home. Home is where she could be one hundred percent her. No acts, no fake smiles, just herself… That's what she wanted.

* * *

**Usui's POV**

Tick. Tick. Tick. "Train 139 will be leaving platform 4 in approximately two minutes." Tick. Tick. Tick. 10:28 a.m.

He hesitated as he placed a foot on the train. Tick. Tick. Tick. 10:29 a.m. "Oi, Boy. Are you getting on or not?," the stranger glowered at him. "If not then get off, so other people can get on." The stranger shook his head in disgust as Usui moved to aside - who was obviously startled. Tick. Tick. Tick. 10:29:30 a.m. The whistle blew and the train departed.

He stared as the train moved away from the platform. What am I doing? 10:31 a.m. He cursed himself. I've only got one life. I've already lost the one person that I love. I'm not going to risk losing another one. He quickly grabbed onto his things and ran. He ran as fast as his body would allow. His chest started to rise and fall rapidly as his breathing accelerated. His heart was pounding against his chest. Sweat poured from the pores of his skin - soaking his shirt. Luckily, the venue wasn't that far, he thought.

When he arrived, the crowd started to disperse. Was I too late - again? He raced towards the dressing room, figuring she might still be there. And she was. Shades of dark colours shadowed her. Her shoulders hung low and he could hear her sobbing quietly as she packed her belongings.

He leant against the doorframe and watched her intently. "What did I say about being strong?" His lips curved up in a smug grin as she turned around to face him.

* * *

**Shina's POV**

Sighing, she put in her last outfit in the bag and closed it._ 'Yosh! I can go home.'_ She mentally cheered, the feeling of sadness slowly leaving her system. She had no idea why, but she thought that maybe it meant something good was gonna happen. Her phone rang._ 'A text?'_ She thought. Reira texted her that she won't be able to bring her back home because of a traffic jam. Shina sighed and sent her text message saying that it was alright, and that she would take a cab or probably walk back home. Putting her phone back in her bag, she was really ready to leave. Suddenly, she heard a voice. 'Wha-? U-usui?' She mentally said. Turning around to see who it was, her eyes widen seeing him leaning against the open door.

She stood up, still no words escaping her mouth. He was sweaty, and he looked like he'd been running. 'Did he run all the way from the train station?' Her mind boggled. Did he miss his train? Or did he decide not to go? "I thought… You were supposed to…?" Those words were all she could utter out. She was obviously stunned. With her head down, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "You look tired. Maybe you should sit down..?" She offered, not making any eye contact. She didn't know what to say or do. She was just lost in her thoughts.

* * *

**Usui's POV**

Walking towards her, he let a wry grin slip onto his face. "No. I'm okay. My new school can wait, but…," he paused. "… But you can't." His hands gently brushed her tears away. Tears fallen from a beautiful goddess. How did he deserve such a wonderful gift? Inside of him, an overwhelming wave of emotions was surging uncontrollably. The wall that barricaded his feelings crashed to the ground. He was no longer afraid of her seeing it all; the pain that had been his companion from the beginning; the sadness that had left a permanent bite mark on his beating heart; and the desire that was eating him alive. All those emotions were emerging to the surface from the dark shadows - visible to her eyes.

He felt so vulnerable in her presence. She made him forget why he had imprisoned himself in the darkness and why he chose seclusion. It was she. I feel so tired, Shina. So tired. He didn't want to fight, anymore. He didn't want hide, anymore. He didn't want to deny his love for her, anymore. His sight was blurred by tears and his lips trembled. You're even making me cry? He cleared his throat and tried to blink away the tears. "I came back, because there's this one story that I wanted to share with you. And, I just couldn't leave without telling you. I wouldn't feel at ease, if I didn't." She was about to say something, but he cut her off. "No. Listen," he demanded as he placed a finger on her lips to silence her.

"There was a tree and his friend, Bird. One day, the bird noticed the tree's glum expression and asked him what was the matter. The tree replied, "Bird, my heart has been stolen from me." The bird laughed and said, "Nonsense. Trees don't have a heart." The tree argued back, "No, I'm serious, Bird. I did. There was a heart painted on my trunk, but after that rainy night it disappeared. A girl painted it on my trunk, y'know? She gave me a heart and then took it away. And that girl's name was… Shina Haruno…" He let the words sink in. "Shina, I love you," he said, finally.

Fumbling around his pocket, his hand pulled out a bunny hair-tie that, he had prepared earlier. But, was too much of a coward to give it to her - afraid that it will serve her as a painful memory. Now, he thought of it differently. Distance, doesn't matter. It won't sever the string that tied their hearts together, no matter how far apart they were. He grabbed her left hand and loosely tied the bunny hair-tie around her married finger. "Miss Haruno, will you be my girlfriend?," he looked at her expectantly and his eyes gave off a green glint.

* * *

**Shina's POV**

_'He… ditched his train… for me…?'_ He walked over to her and wiped a tear away._ 'Why do I always feel a tingling feeling whenever he touches me?'_ With her heart beating fast, she touched his hand which was still on her face. She's finally felt the feeling of acceptance. Finally meeting his gaze, she saw his true emotions. His feelings were all showing. All of them showing through his eyes. Her eyes slightly widen at the sight. He was showing them all._ 'I never knew he could be this open… but why is he showing this side of him to me…? Of all people…'_ Then, she saw it. _'H-he's crying?'_

She never knew he'd break down his walls in front of her. She held his hands and squeezed them tight, telling him she was there for him. Then, he spoke. "A story?" She tilted her head. His story was a story she'd never heard of. Her name was said in the end. "U-usui, I..-?" She was interrupted when he confessed. Her eyes widen and her mouth slightly open. He wrapped a tie with a bunny design on it around her ring finger. She raised a brow and looked at it. She looked at him with a puzzled expression. Her heart was beating fast, and it beat even faster when he spoke again. "Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked. She looked at him, speechless.

Suddenly, her body moved on it's own. Their faces inches apart until she closed the distance between them. Her arms around his neck, her eyes closed, taking in the moment. When she finally pulled away, she smiled at him with a blush on her cheeks. "Do you think that I'd cry over you and not say yes?" She said, then, touched his forehead with hers. "Yes, Usui. I will be your girlfriend." This time, she knew that it would be different from her past relationships. She knew that it would be different in a great way. "I love you too…"

* * *

_**~END~**_

* * *

**A/N:**

Reira is Shina's best friend. She's an Ao no Exorcist OC (okumurareira)

Shina is Sakura's 15-year-old younger sister.

This was an rp with takumixusui (takumixusui)

My Tumblr Account: shinaharuno


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